Lesley Allen

Why do I procrastinate when I know exactly what I need to do? It is a question many capable, intelligent and hardworking people ask themselves. They can manage difficult situations, meet other people’s needs and perform well under pressure, yet when it comes to one particular task, decision or change, they feel completely stuck. Procrastination is often blamed on laziness, poor discipline or a lack of motivation. But the reasons are usually more complex. Fear, perfectionism, overwhelm,...

Someone asks what you want, and you cannot answer. You know what needs to be done, you know what other people expect from you and you may know what would be sensible, practical or responsible. But when it comes to identifying what you genuinely want for yourself, your mind goes blank. You may have reached a stage in life where, on paper, things look reasonably settled. You have fulfilled responsibilities, built a career, supported other people and made decisions based on what needed to happen...

You are the person everyone turns to. You organise, solve, support and keep things moving. At work, you are dependable. At home, you are the one who remembers what needs to be done. When something goes wrong, people assume you will know how to handle it. From the outside, you appear strong and in control. But beneath that strength, you may feel exhausted, overlooked or quietly resentful. You may wonder when your needs became less important than everyone else’s, or why the people closest to...